Friday, September 21, 2007

So Much To Be Thankful For

My DH had the worst possible thing that could happen to a doctor happen to him yesterday---a baby died at 40 weeks. That's term. The baby actually died on his or her very due date. The poor mother, a first-time-about-to-be-mother, came into the office with her sister all elated with anticipation. She expected my DH to tell her something like, "Well, you're 2 centimeters dilated, it could happen at any time." And instead, my hubby who's known around the office as being the awesome heartbeat finder, couldn't find a heartbeat. He tried. He tried hard. He remembered that earlier that day (an omen?) he couldn't find another heartbeat, and then another. But he remembered that in a few minutes, he did find them.

But with this poor woman, he didn't. He brought in another doctor who also couldn't find the heartbeat. He perused the woman's chart. She had done all the right things. She hadn't missed a single prenatal visit. She had taken all the tests---all but one, one that many women skip---especially women who know they wouldn't personally choose abortion even if they had found fetal abnormalities. She had been to her prenatal visit just last week and everything was fine. He had found a heartbeat then. Why couldn't he find one today?

She was young. She was healthy. He tested her for drug use. Negative. He thought of all the possibilities. Negative. She had done all the right things. All the right things. He has lots of women in his practice that don't do the right things and their babies live. She had done all the right things.

Her baby died. And my DH cried.

Shit. I cried. I told a friend and she cried. Who carries a baby to term just to have the poor thing die? What sad and perverted version of our existence allows this kind of thing to happen?

And ya all wonder why I'm in a pissy, I mean, thankful, mood?

7 comments:

Crystal said...

Oh my heart just broke for your husband and that poor woman. These are the things that sometimes I cannot wrap my brain around. I pray that she has a strong support system to help her through this tragedy.

Jenny from Chicago said...

Oh! This post pulled me up short. I had a friend who delivered a stillborn at 40 weeks. I still get chills when I think of it. Such a sad, sad day for that mom. I pray that her spirit is restored.

Mary Alice said...

And I cried too.

Jen M. said...

Oh my God, Kristi. That is tragic. We're crying over here, too.

Fairly Odd Mother said...

So sad. I want to put my arms around that poor woman and cry with her. I'm so sorry for your husband too. That's beyond hard.

Whirlwind said...

Wow thats so sad. I never made it past 37 weeks in any of my pregnancies, but thankfully they all came out all right.

moosh in indy. said...

That's unbelievable. So sorry to that sweet woman and your husband.