I'm on the phone with my bff today and in the middle of a very important (ahem) conversation, I notice the toilet in the powder room. Unflushed. Again. Poop overwhelms said toilet, along with what looks like several bouts of pee and toilet paper.
"Goddamn it! Oh, sorry to interrupt our conversation but dang it! I just noticed the toliet in the powder room was once again not flushed. It's sickening. There's poop practically falling out of the thing."
"Oh, don't you hate that?"
"Dang kids. Oh wait! Did I tell you this already? Here's yet another example of my exemplary parenting. So the other day, I'm in a pissy kind of mood. Yeah, yeah, maybe PMS, whatever. I walk into the girls' bathroom and notice the toilet unflushed. With the lid up. It looked like at least one poop had taken place followed or proceeded by multiple pees. It was disgusting. So in my wonderfully foul mood, I yell at the kids---"Dammit, you guys have to flush the toilet! This is soooo gross! Do you guys even get how gross this is? it's like...okay...from now on, I think I'll start pooping in a bucket. Yep, a bucket! and then I'll leave it on the floor in your bedroom. What do you think about that?!?!"
See, I am the perfect parent.