Saturday, November 17, 2007

Frantic Family

It's been a week since I've posted. The problem? Mary Alice describes it as Frantic Family Syndrome. I like the term very much and I've started sharing it with others as a way to describe what our family, and me in particular, is experiencing at the moment.

I was foolish to take on this nursing course that I'm taking. Foolish to add it when my hubby is still working as much as he is, my youngest is still only in school half-days, and when I'm as involved as I am in other things---my kids' school, our neighborhood, etc.

Next semester, I'm not taking any classes. I've recently decided that it just doesn't make sense, not when doing so makes our family in such a state of constant rushing craziness. We're always running late. The grocery shopping isn't getting done so we're eating a lot more convenience food and spending a lot more money. I'm skipping the gym in order to spend time studying. I'm chronically behind on the laundry which I cannot stand. I have no time to blog which I really can't stand, and well, I'm just wondering.....why?

If I were a single mom it might be a different story. But I have choices. I do not have to work. My husband makes enough money to comfortably support us and he's happy to have me holding down the fort if that's what I'm happy doing. I do not have to go back to school. If I was turning 41 next month (and I am!) and didn't yet have my bachelor's, I could see sort of frantically wanting to complete my schooling, but I already have a bachelors and a masters. I don't need to do this!

Unless, of course, I want to. If I'm passionate and motivated, then by all means, I should be following my dream. But right now, honestly, it's just not worth the hassle. And next year, I'm praying things will be calmer around here. First of all, my hubby will have hopefully landed that awesome job (or a similar one) which will allow him to be around more. Secondly, J will be in school full time---which (a) means I won't have to worry about childcare for her on the afternoons when I have class, and (b) means that I won't have to be commuting to their school three times each and every day. Not to mention the fact that this is my last semester to enjoy her in the afternoons. Sigh.

So there you have it. Convinced. Not taking classes next semester. Period. Glad we got that over with.

14 comments:

Family Adventure said...

You are right - now is the time to enjoy the baby. Don't put the extra stress on yourself right now - wait until the kids are in school full time, and you really *want* to go back to school. The experience will be worth the wait.

Hope your husband lands that fab job.

Heidi

Leanne said...

Yep. I'm 42 and just enrolled in the professional writing course offered at my town's University. It'll be my THIRD degree. Do I need to work? Nope. Is it crazy around here? Yep. I'm a little more fortunate as my youngest is in grade two...but the laundry and the dinners, yep - that's gone WAY down hill.

The only great thing is as part of my course I HAVE to creatively write at least five times a week...so I blog.

I have exams and Christmas in a few weeks - so I have stress.

I'm doing it for me, I'm enjoying it most of the time too. But I DO think you're right, you've got to wait until the time is right for YOU and your family.

Come over and vent any time. It's nice knowing I'm not alone.

painted maypole said...

sounds like a good choice.

Sue said...

Good for you. Life is hard enough without the extra pressure. Sometimes I feel like I need to work toward a goal, just to do it, and then I realize it's taking away from our quality of life and I just have to step back and decide if it is going to improve my life or detract from it. Sounds like you are doing exactly what works for your family {{applause}}

Crystal said...

Don't you feel a load off your back just saying that you are going to free up that future time! Good for you.

bermudabluez said...

Good Choice! Enjoy your time with your kids....it goes so very fast!

Mrs. G. said...

It's good to recognize our limits so that we don't wear ourselves down to nothing. As one who has a daughter leaving for college in the fall, savor those girls. It goes so darn fast.

Fairly Odd Mother said...

I think you are making the right choice for you right now. Like you said, there may be a better time to do this.

Mary Alice said...

Bravo. I am standing and clapping for you. The one thing that I think we women are really guilty of, is allowing ourselves to feel insecure about not doing everything. We feel like we need to get a stellar education, climb straight to the top of our career, be an amazing sex kitten wife, raise our horde of angelic children -while dressing impeccably- redecorating the house ourselves, making summer slipcovers from antique fabrics we have collected during our world travels and cooking gourmet meals from our organic gardens---- all in the SAME span of time. If we don’t do all of that, then we are miserable failure and everyone will think we are lazy and have no initiative. Between 25 and 45 we are always feeling inadequate if we are not doing it all. Women do this to themselves and we do it to one another. We feel guilty and we guilt. Our kids will only be with us maybe a fourth of our totally life span, why can we not just be satisfied with that in this period of our lives? Why do we need to justify our space in the world by doing it ALL at once? What does that really say about how we ourselves value mothering? Why can we just not be still and content and save our big dreams for the other half of our lives? Why all at once?

WorksForMom said...

Kudos. Excellent choice. There is always tomorrow. Enjoy today.

Lisa said...

I hear ya....just slow down & enjoy this time. I feel so blessed that I get to stay home too...it is a gift!!!

Camellia said...

To everything there is a season. Peace Pilgrim said if you are overwhelmed, you are doing more than you were assigned to do for now. Sounds like you're making a wise decision.

Jenny from Chicago said...

So sensible. It made me take a look around over the weekend to see what needs to be clipped in my life...and there are a couple of things.

Thanks for the inspiration.

jakelliesmom said...

True, true. You will probably enjoy your afternoons with your little one much more than the class, and the classes will always be there when the little one is not so little.